Sorry, you need to upgrade your Flash Player | Get new 
What Exactly Do I Do?
My business card says I'm in 'visual communication.' Thirty years ago, I'd have been a 'commercial artist,' but 'visual communication' sounds more expensive.
Of course, I do stuff now that wasn't possible thirty years ago (because I was still at school). As far as the web goes, things change fast. I regularly do things that weren't possible before lunch last Wednesday.
It takes a lot of time and effort to keep up with what's going on. This makes my life a bloody nightmare. No, sorry, my girlfriend wrote that bit. This makes my life interesting. You might think my girlfriend's right, but if you want me to meet your deadline, you'd best keep quiet.
What Don't I Do?
Dull stuff. More talented people than I have tried and failed to make selling double-glazing interesting, so don't ask.
Repetitive stuff. The technology now exists for you to update much of your website content yourself. Even if it doesn't, it will later this afternoon. So if you want to update your news pages every day, or you've got a very high staff turnover, let me know. I'll build a site you can change using nothing more sophisticated than a computer.
I don't do stuff I'm no good at either. But normally I'll know somebody who does it pretty well. I have a carefully nurtured network of little helpers who will take photographs, write copy, programme in arcane languages, manufacture signage, rig lighting and generally run around like headless chickens to get the job done.
Nearly all of them are quite good in their own limited way, and most have been working with me long enough to know not to appear too smart.
For my part, I will co-ordinate the efforts of all these talented people, and occasionally pass on a small proportion of the enormous figure I quote you.
Anything Else?
I don't lose clients very often. It seems that once a client's aboard, they're here for good. Which is fine. Mostly. (Sometimes I sack a client just to keep the rest of you alert). My clients - the ones still standing - seem to like the way I work. My design work apparently gets results. And they know they won't often hear me say "this would do" - unless it's immediately followed by "but this would be better..."